It is currently 6:00 am and i'm still up. i've been in bed for hours, tossing and turning, but can't seem to fall asleep. so, most of you know that i have a significant other, haha, and when people ask how we're doing, i always tend to say we're good, but honestly, we're not. we're constantly fighting, arguing, just really think about whether if we can do this or not. maybe he's not the one for me? when people say "i feel like i've been stabbed 100 times" i never really understood until i felt it. it my seem corny or whatnot, but if really does hurt and seem to cause a pain that no one can fix. it's been so hard this year, it's so hard not to feel lonely, even with a boyfriend, i still am lonely. i try to keep myself occupied and things to keep my mind off of to not be by myself. i have all these people around me but am never satisfied. maybe it's because i need that one friend, that one friend you would tell everything to, someone you can trust with your life, and that friend is God. so this is my prayer and my wish, i really hope no one out there in this world is lonely, because it probably is the worst feeling. i really hope that all of us will find a moment, when we really open up our hearts and realize that we ALL NEED GOD. He is the one and only one for us when the whole world turns us down and is against us. so i ask God to help me with this relationship, with people, friends, and family. i also want to thank Him for giving this wonderful life that we all love and giving us our every need. living each and everyday is a battle; fight it with all you've got! Amen.
This is Sin Young Nam, and Jesus fulfills my life.
4 comments:
Sinyoung :)
I am really humbled by your courage to post such a personal topic to share with us. Issues about relationships (especially sig.others) and loneliness are really private issues that are difficult to talk about. Thank you for opening up with us.
It hurts me that you are having a hard time but at the same time, your prayer has brought me hope for you, me, and everyone else struggling with relationships & loneliness. Its really a beautiful prayer!! I really pray with you that we will realize together how much we need God in our lives.
once again, thank you for this :)
- Sharon
SINYOUNG!!!!
remember how i told you that you reminded of me my freshman year? want to know why? so freshman year i also had a boy friend. I said the same exact thing to people who asked me how me and him were doing. honestly now that me and him are not dating anymore, we tend not to hurt each other. not that i am saying you guys should break up or something, its more like i understood why this happened to me. i also felt lonely, and sometimes i still do. like the fact that our friends are probably more guys than girls are a factor as well. and you are right God is the one and only true friend that you can count on. And if you wanna know more about what happened to me freshman year I would lovee to explain 8D
btw. lets have a date JUSt me & you!!!! sometime this week if we both are not too busy!!
<3 jennyi
i respect you opening up like that yo! hahahah i'll def be praying for ya, loneliness sucks! but you're absolutely right. God is all we need and He's also always there. His promises never fail! don't give up on God cause He hasn't given up on you! and also, if you're bored ever, you know you can always come to the city where johnny and i will always be up for chillin! just tell me ur coming this time so im not home, loser! HAHAH jkjk. but see you around homie!
I would 100% say that our small group, much like any other small group, is a group of lonely people. And I don't say this in a negative way... just as a fact. This isn't to say we don't have friends, family, maybe boyfriends/girlfriends... but in spite of all of that, we feel lonely.
I struggled through loneliness through my entire college career, but I would say the epitome was during my summer in Korea. I have never felt so lonely before in my life. It isn't to say that I didn't have a good time, learned a lot, take back that time, ect... but I was still lonely. But through that loneliness, I really learned to cling to God. I think loneliness is a good thing, because you learn exactly what you said - we all need God and all we need is God. Although that is a hard concept to understand, to wrap ourselves fully around.. think about it, if you were never lonely, would you feel that you NEEDED God.
OF course, in line with that, God gave us a beautiful community that allows us to encourage one another. Which is exactly waht this small group is supposed to be. So in your loneliness, know this: you have the Lord, and you have us - your fellow brothers and sisters. And be comforted :).
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