JFML!

hello guys :] well, as the semester is ending and this was our last small group, I just want to say it was a pleasure meeting all of you guys. i can guarantee in saying that it wouldn't have been the same without each and every individual one of you guys. although i got to know some of you more than others, i'm sure that God has set us to meet each other even if we didn't get as close as we might have liked to. i'm truly glad that i met such mature people about faith because i know that what i struggled with back in high school was people to depend on with my walk with God. i didn't have anyone to point me back to Him and so through my brothers and sisters in Christ that i have met in my first year here at Temple RCF, i have been strengthened and growing in my relationship with God that i have never truly experienced before. i had many chances before, but i didn't have a nurturing environment to solidify that...though i guess it's all a part of God's will haha and i know for a fact that it was God's will that brought me to this ministry, this church, and to you guys and that's why i thank Him for blessing me with such a community as to grow with in friendship, in love for each other and those we are being called to reach out to, and in our love for our Father. i hope that i was a blessing to you all as you were to me because going to JFML every week was really a way to just relax and return to a small community where, though we had our dry moments, i was able to be surrounded by people who actually wanted to be there. you might have been there for just friends and a community or truly wanted to be there to learn more about the Gospel, but what matters is that you guys chose to be there which makes all the difference for me.

i think that the one thing that really defines this year was learning. learning about college and dorm life, roommates, parties, sex, my roommates having sex (sometimes me walking in on them......... -.- ) people, friends, hardships, what it means to really immerse yourself in someone else's life, to see other people for who they are rather than what you automatically make them out to be or what other people define them as, and definitely more about myself. i learned so many things like the faults that i have with every single decision that i make, every single friend that i make, every single discussion i have, every single little detail that i reveal through my words or body language, the impact of myself unto others concerning everything, my faults as i impact others, my faults as i impact God, and the little or big things that impact me good or bad. i have become aware of many things like learning more about my own sinfulness but the utter greatness and perfection of God and Christ's sacrifice for us. i have learned that i depend a lot on other people and the little things that might make or break my day. i also learned how foolish it is to be so emotionally dependent on others and to first seek God in every way so that i may see through God's eyes on how to view other people instead of the way that the world tells me to look. i learned how i relate to other people and what other people think of me and learning how opposite that is to what i feel like. i learned how much of a failure i can truly be. i learned how much i need God. i learned how to begin to trust in the Lord. my eyes were opened this year as i thought about my relationship with God and simply how i felt about Him. do i love Him? what does it mean to love Him or even anyone else? what is love?

as i began searching through these things in my heart, it just gave me a better awareness of myself and where God fit into my life and realized that i generally felt that i was a "good" Christian. no one really hated me or anything and i generally didn't really have any problems with people until i realized how shallow my relationships with people were. i felt like i didn't actually know anyone. although i spent countless hours with friends that i saw nearly everyday, i didn't know anything about what they might be going through, what makes them act certain ways, and just who they were. i simply had a flat view of everyone. there was no depth to our relationships. as i was thinking about this, it started to make me feel rather lonely because how can you trust someone that you don't actually know or that you've only known for a short amount of time? i think that this semester i have been doing what Chris Chong said at the RCF senior friday night which is investing in people and also what Daegyu said which is to love my campus. since i only had been making shallow friendships with people in high school, i didn't know what it meant to love or care for someone more than that first layer of friendship. but as i began to chip away at that and began to get closer to people on a more personal and deep level, i began to realize and see more of my own faults that had been also hiding under that layer. as a result, i began to fail more than i had ever realized before which i guess was also chipping away at a pride that i had not realized was there because of the near perfect image of some model Christian that i had set up. God humbled me in this aspect and is still humbling me as He is showing more of myself but more of His greatness as i am contrasted to His perfection. as of right now, i believe that i am growing now more than ever as i am trying to rely on Christ to change this selfish person that clings to things left and right and that lets his emotions get the best of him... when my heart is searching for something, i will strive to realize that the real thing that my heart is reaching for is God who is the only one that can fill my every needs because He is truly more than enough.

okay haha i wrote quite a lot even though i have work to do... the thing that i need you guys to do is to keep me in prayer :] and to keep me accountable as i seek to serve in this ministry. i know that i have many faults and will ultimately fail whether in a big or small way in the future so i need people who can point these in me (in love!) so that i may better serve others and glorify God to the best of my ability. i hope that we can keep on growing and striving for God more and more together or if God decides to send us off on different paths, i hope that we can still remember each other in love as brothers and sisters that we can depend on because we have the most important factor in every and any relationship which is Christ. so that no matter where we are or what situation that we're in, we can find peace knowing that not only do we have God and Christ, but we also have a community.

this is Richard O and... Jesus Fulfills My Life

i hope that we can all remember and truly know that God is good all the time no matter what situation we are thrown in and no matter what struggles we go through. knowing that i hope we can all remember and keep in mind that only Jesus can fulfill our lives. God bless you all :]